16 August 2009

WTF?!? Seriously.


One sleepless night as I was plugging away on my laptop at 2:00am a MSN message pops up on my screen.

Now this message is not from just anybody. This message was from the original slippers! This guy was one of the men I was dating when I first came up with this analogy about a year ago. He was slippers because while he seemed like a nice guy there were just no real sparks.

Honestly I hadn't spoken to him at all since last summer. This conversation was so sudden and unexpected I had to share it with you.

Slippers: Hi

Shoeless: Hey stranger
How are you?

Slippers: OK
LOL
You made me a cake once right?


*to interject here his birthday is in the summer and yes I did bake him a cake last year.

Shoeless: Ya LOL like a year ago I believe
Happy birthday btw

Slippers: Thanx
Ummmm... I'm kinda in a jam.

Shoeless: What's up?

*please keep in mind it's the middle of the night lol

Slippers: girl I'm kinda seeing, her boyfriend came home early

Shoeless: LMFAO!!!!!
Serves ya right!
go for the single ones.

Slippers: now I'm stuck under her bed... I'm on her laptop

Shoeless: LOL!!! thats hilarious

Slippers: you're the only one I am ever telling.

Shoeless: Hmmmmmmm..... well I know a friend of yours

Slippers: who????

Shoeless: I'm not sure I am ready to reveal that lol

Slippers: come one... it's a girl

Shoeless: Yup

Slippers: dark hair 2 kids?

Shoeless: lol

Slippers is now inviting u to webcam

Shoeless: It's the middle of the night I'm not webcamming!

Slippers: I'm under a bed lol

Shoeless: LMAO that's awesome
can't they hear you type?

Slippers: so I'm honest let me cam and see you

Shoeless: fine

webcam begins here

Shoeless: What? no cam for you? I want to see u under that bed

Slippers: give me a sec I just gotta figure her computer out here

Shoeless: I know lets sing a song, "whose bed has M---- been under?"

Slippers: Whose the girl you know?

Shoeless: you know I really should be working right now... I have a big report
due tomorrow and a workshop to go to in the morning. How long do you
think you'll be stuck there for? Because if they go to bed you'll really be stuck. Sorry no sympathy here

Slippers: K can u see me now?

Shoeless: Yup

Slippers: You know Lovely?

Shoeless: Yes I do. Are you surprised?

Slippers: How?

Shoeless: how what?

Slippers: how u know her

Shoeless: Oh I couldn't tell you that, it's a girl thing


* This is where I note that "Lovely" was slippers best friend when I dated him last summer.

Slippers: seriously how do u know her?

Shoeless: Hmmmm... last time I spoke to her she said u guys aren't talking anymore so I'm not going to talk about her.

Slippers: Don't tell her, and ya we don't talk

Shoeless: This is too funny not to share, maybe I'll blog about it instead. Share it with the world.

Slippers: Huh? how?

Shoeless: I have a blog

Slippers: be nice


Last year he came off as just a nice guy, now he comes off as an asshole. he went on about how he was stuck under this woman's bed and then said ha ha just kidding. He said he was looking for an interesting way to get my attention.

Ummmmm.... since when is being a sleazy dishonest piece of crap get a woman's attention in a good way?

I logged off when he started saying stuff like "I forgot how beautiful your eyes are" Like I've never heard a line before.

Lovely, his friend, told me he lost some weight and has now become quite the dawg since. That's why she doesn't talk to him anymore, because he has become really disrespectful towards women.

So there you have it, what were once my slippers have become someone Else's stilettos.

Lets all sing it together shall we?

Whose bed has M--- S---- been under?
Whose bed has M--- S---- been under?
And whose heart did you steal I wonder?
This time did it feel like thunder, baby?
Whose bed has M--- S---- been under?

Don't look so lonely
Don't act so blue
I know I'm not the only
Girl you run to
I know about Lolita
Your little Spanish flame
I've seen you around with Rita
The redhead down the lane

Whose bed has M--- S---- been under?
And whose heart did you steal I wonder?
This time did it feel like thunder, baby?
And who did you run to?
And whose lips have you been kissin'?
And whose ear did you make a wish in?
Is she the one that you've been missin', baby?
Well whose bed has M--- S---- been under?

I heard you've been sneakin'
Around with Jill
And what about that weekend
With Beverly Hill
And I've seen you walkin'
With long legs Louise
And you weren't just talkin'
Last night with Denise

Whose bed has M--- S---- been under?
And whose heart did you steal I wonder?
This time did it feel like thunder, baby?
And who did you run to?
And whose lips have you been kissin'?
And whose ear did you make a wish in?
Is she the one that you've been missin', baby?
Well whose bed has M--- S---- been under?

Come on boots...

So next time you're lonely
Don't call on me
Try the operator
Maybe she'll be free

Whose bed has M--- S---- been under?
And whose heart did you steal I wonder?
This time did it feel like thunder, baby?
And who did you run to?
And whose lips have you been kissin'?
And whose ear did you make a wish in?
Is she the one that you've been missin', baby?
Well whose bed has M--- S---- been under?

I wanna know whose bed, baby
Whoa baby, tell me
Whose bed, yes I wanna know
You better start talkin'
Or you better start walkin'...

4 comments:

JP Shaw said...

omg I wanna cry this was so funny! Bleeping hilarious my gosh girl you sure can pick those shoes can't you?

Shop for thongs they last longer and there is nothing to hide!

Miranda @ Keeper of the Cheerios said...

wow, what a sleeze he is but how FUNNY! What a story! LOL :)

Garden Rabit said...

Lol. That's a funny story! Thanks for sharing! hee hee

Darryl J. Root said...

I was laughing so hard, tears were racing down my face. My wife came in from the other room to see what was so funny. I can not wait to see what your next post will be.

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