Happy Birthday Love and Grace

Happy Birthday Love and Grace!

It`s hard to believe it has been 5 years already since you two were born. 5 years ago at 10:00pm I got a back ache. By 11:00 I was in the hospital and already 6cm dilated. You had already been threatening to come out for some time and there was no more holding you in!

Thanks to an epidural your birth was held off long enough to assemble the teams of Dr.`s and nurses necessary for your birth. An OR room filled with strangers. All 3 of us were assigned our own teams.

It was 2:26 am Love when you popped out. It was quick, even though you were born breech, probably because you were sooooo small. 3lbs 15oz. I was in awe of how alert you were right from the beginning. You didn`t cry, but rather just contentedly stared into my eyes as I held you for the first time in my arms. Everything about you was perfect.

Grace followed at 2:32am, just 6 minutes later, weighing 5lbs 6oz. Only not only were you not crying, but you weren`t breathing either. My little Grace came out limp and blue. I couldn`t see what was happening, and I was afraid for the worst at that moment. My first glances at you were the nurses rushing to me saying here is your daughter kiss her now she needs to go to the SCN right away. And with that quick glance a gentle kiss on the forehead you were taken away.

Every birthday this same scene plays over and over in my mind. How I was able to hold Love and once gaining the feeling back in my legs to feed him and cuddle him. All the while looking at Grace wondering if she would make it, watching her heart rate continue to crash. Not being able to touch her, watching her frail body hooked up to machines to help her breathe.

And now 5 years later Grace is healthy and thriving. And Love is in heaven.

So happy birthday to my precious babies, one now 5 years old the other forever 5 days old. Mommy loves you.