Meet Oxfords...

Lets talk about dating and age differences.

I'm not talking about just a few years here... if it was within 10 years I wouldn't so much as bat an eye. I personally don't see that as a huge age difference, though I am aware that for some that would be quite a bit.  My general rule of thumb has always been that if I am going to date someone they need to be closer to my age than my moms. My mom and I are 19 years apart so 9 - 10 years older is the most I would have considered.

Here is where I tell you about my pair of Oxfords.Old fashioned, classic, and all around just a smart shoe. I work with the general public and this is where I met Oxfords. I chatted with him as I do just about anybody and found him to be quite interesting. Over about 6 months Oxfords has continued to make a point to stop by to say hello and has offered to pay for a trip to Hawaii, with the stipulation that I be willing to have dinner with him on his native island.  I of course just laughed and said it would be much easier for us to have dinner in this country.

The thing is Oxfords is a lot older than me. I mean a lot. As in older than my parents... So tell me how old is too old?

I posed the question to my facebook to see what others thought and this was the response I received:

ShoelessMommy

February 6 at 8:18pm · 

How important is age when dating?

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• people like this
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  KC good good question SM please let me know to I think when you hit a certain age it should not matter but I dunno

  February 6 at 8:35pm · Unlike · 2
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  DT I'm seeing someone 18 years older than me. Known each other for almost 20 years...we have fun together, laugh together, enjoy each other's company.....age is just a number!

  February 6 at 9:23pm · Unlike · 2
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  SW As long as you are both of legal age, the only thing to consider is compatibility... If you both share common dreams, goals, interests ect.. It really shouldn't matter what others think.

  February 6 at 9:41pm · Like · 2
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  DC The most important is to find someone who respects you, but I personally would not date anyone more than 5 years younger or older. I suppose that might limit meeting someone - like what if someone was amazing and wonderful but they were 6 years younger or older, or seven. Gosh, it all depends.

  February 6 at 9:46pm · Like · 1
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  D.a. F depends on how much older they look, and if they have an accent

  February 6 at 9:49pm · Like · 3
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  Shoeless Mommy Accents are important lol but that is not the older guy I was talking about.... I was referring to the much much older gentleman lol

  February 6 at 9:55pm · Like · 1
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  D.a. F a trip to Hawaii is a trip to Hawaii ...

  February 6 at 10:01pm · Like · 3
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  ShoelessMommy I saw him today and told him he needs to take me for dinner before he whisks me away to Hawaii.

  February 6 at 10:03pm · Like · 3
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  ShoelessMommy Turns out he happens to be a nuclear physicist...

  February 6 at 10:04pm · Like · 1
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  JP Not important. If you are both adults that enjoy each others company have-atter!

  February 6 at 10:31pm · Unlike · 2
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  BM Ohhh SM your way to beautiful to settle for some old guy your going to have to look after?? Be wise...♡♡♡♡

  February 6 at 11:33pm · Like · 1
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  KC So so True BM SM really is 

  February 6 at 11:40pm · Like · 1
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  JBean The older you get, the less affect and age gap usually has. As long as you have similar goals and interests, it shouldn't matter. Age is just a number...( unless you are 35 and dating a 20 yr old like someone I know...that's just wrong!)

  Yesterday at 2:30am · Like
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  SS Don't do it! Much much older men tire more quickly. What I'm saying is you need to be with someone that can take care of you and you of him.

  Yesterday at 5:59am · Like
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  SH Doug's mom has been with a guy who is about 20 years older than her. She has been with him for about 8 years and she is happy with him. He is good to her and they share many funny moments. He is good to her and her grandkids. So age doesn't matter. Happiness matters. If you love someone and they love you then taking care of one another should be part of love. Doug's mom had cancer and he helped her and took care of her and he is older. She takes care of him when he is sick. That is (to me) what part of love is.

  Yesterday at 7:49am · Like
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  SH No offense to others whom have an opposing view. Everyone has a different view point as everyone has had different experiences in life which have helped shape their unique views.

  Yesterday at 7:52am · Unlike · 1
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  LG If the age difference is too much, you have to plan on a lonely later life. So decide which is most important: the here and now; or the later in life. (Depending on how serious you think this could get.) Also, do you really believe this guy is a nuclear physicist??? Just KIDDING! -- Now, if you're talking about Grace, she's much to young to date! ( p.s. DON"T go to Hawaii, pleeeeeease!) 

  Yesterday at 10:05am · Unlike · 1

So there are some very interesting and strong opinions for sure!Some that even seemed a bit contradictory. I am pretty sure I know who JBean was talking about and that is a woman approaching 40 dating a 20 something year old. If the age gap were reversed and he was older would it have been seen as inappropriate? Or is it because in that case the woman is older so it's not as accepted?

I do see a lot of truth in having a similar life stage. After all how long could a relationship realistically be supported? At his age (not to be rude) it wouldn't be unheard of for his health to rapidly deteriorate, and where would that leave me? Going from caring for small children to caring for a senior. Just at the time I would be looking at empty nest and having time to go and enjoy life He would be reaching the end of his life. If I were the kind of girl who was just looking for a sugar daddy, this would be something I would probably pursue, but I want so much more. What kind of example would that be setting for my daughter? Though I do quite enjoy his company, oxfords is just a friend.